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“We’re about to get that sorted out,” he says, trading glances with Tark, who nods.
“If all goes well, we’ll come back here to The Seam building. If you’re really taking a team to find Mr. Wright, we’ll need to fit you with offline locators,” Tark says, turning to Arwyn.
“I’ll put them together,” she says, then looks at Arco and nods just a little. He presses his lips together in a ghost of a smile and lets out a breath.
“I don’t like this,” Myra says, her gaze frantically jumping around from person to person like everywhere is too hot for it to land.
“I don’t either…but, I don’t see another way,” Fraya says. “If anyone can find Liddick, it’s probably Jazz.”
Jax looks at her in surprise, but then his expression softens. Our dad is clasping his hands behind his neck, and I know he realizes this is out of his control. A hollow spreads in my stomach like I’m slowly being washed away from the inside…helplessness. His helplessness. I hate that feeling more than anything.
“We’ll be OK. We made it through the Rush. We made it this far,” I remind my dad, my brother, and Arco, but the hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach only seems to get deeper.
“We were together,” Arco says in a low voice. I meet his eyes for a second. His are bloodshot, which turns the normal hazel into a deep green.
“We’ll find a way.” Vox raises her chin. “And if we don’t find one, we’ll make one.”
This sends a jolt of electricity through my teeth as I glance at the maps on her arms and realize all the ways she has in fact made in her life so far. I don’t know anything about that world… Can I really do this? Can I really go out there without knowing anyone? Without knowing where I am or where I’m going?
All you need to know is where you’ve been, sand dollar, Vox thinks. You figure out the rest when you get there.
I turn to her, actually a little grateful that she was eavesdropping on my thoughts this time because I actually feel a little better. Arco’s face is pale when I look up at him, and the hollow in my stomach collapses into a forever-falling abyss. The muscles in his jaw jump when he realizes I’m watching him, and almost in the same second, the hollow feeling stops. He swallows hard and sighs, resigned. He scrubs a hand over his face, then hooks it on the back of his neck.
“When are we leaving?” he asks Calyx.
“I need to make some arrangements. Give me ten minutes, and we’ll go out the back of the building.”
Arco nods, but then turns away from everyone and walks back to the windows in the corridor. Jax is in front of me in two strides, his huge hands planting themselves on my shoulders. He just looks at me for a second trying to find something to say, but nothing comes out. He lowers his forehead to mine, and the hollow I felt minutes ago fills with warmth…with strength.
“Come back,” he finally says, but it’s so quiet, I almost don’t hear him. My throat closes up immediately, and all I can do is nod. I swallow hard, wrestling with myself for control of my composure.
“I will,” I say. “Stay close to Dad. Don’t get separated again, promise? He has to come home to Mom…and Nann.” I choke, and then pull in a deep, sharp breath.
“We all do. We all will,” he says, and a warm, strong feeling swells in my chest. “Say it…”
“We all will,” I repeat, my voice cracking in betrayal on the last word. Jax nods, then gives Liam a knowing, warning look. I roll my eyes and almost guffaw, but swallow the laugh bubbling up in my chest, It’s not because the look is so funny, but because his big brother overture is such a manic feeling in comparison to the heaviness surrounding us. I close my eyes in a long blink, then let my forehead fall onto Jax’s chest. He squeezes me, and I laugh. I laugh until I feel the sob chasing close behind, just waiting to rush out and flood the room…to drown everyone, and I quickly swallow it back down. Jax gives me a final nod, then crosses to Liam and Vox.
My dad is talking with Calyx when I look over at him, so I turn to find Arco. He’s halfway down the corridor with his hands in his jumpsuit pockets, just staring off into the black oblivion beyond the window. I take a deep breath and walk over to him. I feel my feet land in each step, then randomly think about all the steps I’ve taken since the interviews…since the long walk home watching Arco throw stones into the ocean trying to understand his interview—his reactions to Rheen forcing him to make decisions about people’s lives. About my life. He’s never been able to let that go, not really. And I don’t know that anyone could.
“Hey,” I say, slowing to a stop next to him.
“Hey…”
“Arco, I—“
“Jazz, don’t,” he says, but he’s not angry or even frustrated. He just seems very tired. “Sorry. I just—I can’t do this. Not right now.” He swallows as the muscles in his jaw jump again like the strings of a piano.
I want to go to him, to hug him or hold his hand, but I know—like I knew during the same moment sitting in the courtyard with him after our interviews—that it would only make things worse. Right now, he’s caught in the middle of wanting help and fighting to convince himself that he doesn’t need it, and all I can do is watch him. The pull from both ends just tightens the knot forming in my chest, and then I realize, maybe for the first time, that this isn’t just his feeling. I’m caught in the middle too.
CHAPTER 4
The Line
Arco
I turn away without looking at her. I force myself not to look at her because I know if I see her face, I won’t be able to turn away at all. I’ll just insist on going with her to find Wright, which is the same as volunteering to keep living in his shadow. I’ve been up and down that road, and it’s not going anywhere. At least not for me. I used to think love was about what you could give—about who you loved rather than about who loved you. Maybe part of me still believes that. I don’t know. Right now, I just want to fight for something that might actually make a difference.
“Arco!” she calls after me, and her voice feels like an arrow hitting between my shoulder blades. I press my teeth together and keep moving down the corridor, bracing for the next shot. It doesn’t come.
I scan the main floor for Tark and head toward him, but he just tries to pin me in place with his unblinking lion-stare. I keep walking toward him because I don’t care what he thinks or does anymore as long as he gives me something to do. Now.
“Mr. Hart?” Tark says, quirking an eyebrow at me when I don’t stop. Our eyes connect.
“When are we leaving?” I ask, once I do finally stop about two feet from him. He looks at me for a second like he’s trying to remember a question to ask me, but then he abandons it and nods.
“Calyx is taking you all to a—“
“No. I mean when are we leaving for Phase Three?”
“I’ll have more details in the morning. Get some rest between now and then. Get organized. You’re all leaving with Calyx in ten minutes,” he says.
“Mr. Tark, I—“
“I said, get some rest, Mr. Hart. You’re going to need it.”
Tark just nods at me before he walks away, and I want to rip one of these consoles out of the floor and throw it across the room. At least something would happen then. At least there would be input and reaction…we wouldn’t all just be standing around like droids waiting for programming.
“You all right?” Jax asks me, gripping my shoulder. He cocks his eyebrows in surprise when I jump a little. “Whoa, too much coffee?”
“No.” I let myself smile, then feel the adrenaline hit my bloodstream. “I’m just tired of standing around here waiting for something to happen.”
“Looks like we’re heading out…somewhere?” he says, nodding to Calyx as she starts signaling at everyone to come with her.
“Finish getting the trackers installed—we only have a small window for travel,” Calyx says, and I feel panic hit me. There’s no more time. I always think there will be time—one more day, and she’ll get it—but that’s all done now. This is really the l
ine.
Jax slaps my back a few times, then gives me a knowing look.
“She’ll be all right, man,” he says, and I catch myself staring at Jazz right where I left her near the window in the corridor. I force my attention back to Jax.
“Yeah, I know,” I lie.
“She’s stubborn and smart, and she knows how to fight now,” he says, nodding. “That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. That, and she won’t be alone. Vox will gut anything that comes near them, and Liam seems to know his way around up here.”
I nod back at him like that’s what I’ve been thinking the whole time too, but the truth is I don’t believe it’s all really happening. I can’t believe she doesn’t even seem to care we might never see each other again. She went on for hours about never seeing another stupid sunset that last day topside, but this, now…maybe never seeing her brother and father again, or me? All so she can go find Liddick? He’s only ever caused trouble for her.
My stomach churns the more I go over it, so I close my eyes and tell myself when I open them again, that will be it. I can’t carry this around and do what needs to be done.
“So we just push this or what?” Vox growls, stupidly reaching for the back of her neck. She can’t seem to find it and winds up looking like she’s doing some kind of interpretive dance. I choke a little on the laugh in my throat.
“Be still; it’s not implanted yet,” my sister says, pinching her face like she’s trying to focus. She wipes the back of Vox’s neck with a small white square of cloth, and half a second later, Vox swears a blue streak. Some of the words don’t even sound like English.
“Whoa! What’s wrong?” Avis’s mouth hangs open. His eyes dart everywhere like he’s trying to gather information. Vox is still swearing as she marches toward the corridor.
“Wait for us!” Liam yells after her, then follows in her wake when she doesn’t even remotely slow down.
“What’s that?” Jazz asks, approaching the group.
“A tracker. It’s so we can find each other…after,” my sister says again. “Neck or wrist?”
“Huh? I mean…wrist, I guess,” Jazz says, holding out her arm as her eyes follow Vox down the corridor. Arwyn slides Jazz’s bracelet cuff all the way down to the base of her hand, then swabs the inside of her forearm with another little white square. She positions a needle-like piece of brushed metal about half the length of her thumb on Jazz’s forearm. “On three, OK? One…two…”
Jazz sucks in a sharp breath and holds it when she jerks her attention back to Arwyn. She blows it out and glares for a second before her face relaxes. “So much for three?”
“Sorry…it hurts less sometimes if you don’t see it coming.”
Jazz turns to me when Arwyn says this, and my guts churn all over again.
“Check it out!” Avis shouts, putting his hands straight into a 3D hologram materializing in his hand. It shows Vox flailing her arms at nothing in particular in a tunnel of some kind and Liam trying to keep up with her. He stops and doubles over every few seconds, and I take a closer look. Did she hit him with something?
“I think he’s laughing,” Jazz says, starting to chuckle herself.
“He is!” Fraya confirms. “Every time her hands fly up…she must be ranting.”
Everyone starts to laugh a little at this, and for a second the rock sitting on my chest dislodges.
“They’re in E corridor. You have to go through three walls to get there.” Lyden grins, and even Jazz’s dad cracks a smile. He’s been either stoic or adamant up until now. Nothing in between.
“Your turn. Wrist or neck?” Arwyn says, now at my side.
“Can we all do that afterward? Pull up the hologram?”
“If you put the tracker in your wrist, yes. If you put it in the back of your neck, you’ll see it in your head if you close your eyes. Everyone’s locator will load in your peripheral vision.”
“That seems more tactical than pulling it up out in the open,” I say, but if Jazz is really going, I know I won’t need that thing in my neck to help me see her when I close my eyes.
“It just hurts a little more…” Arwyn adds. And that pretty much seals the deal. I turn around and look at the floor over my shoulder.
“Do it.”
***
After everyone has a tracker injected and Liam manages to bring Vox back from her field trip, Calyx calls a quick meeting. We all move toward the center of the room as she stands in front of the dead, gray column that used to be active with virtuo-cine plots. Now, it just looks like a sea tossing in a storm. Calyx clears her throat.
“Skull is working on mobilizing our sleeper cells on Earth, at Gaia Sur, and even at The State so they are in place when we go into Phase Three,” she says, which makes everyone else in the room cheer. I’m surprised to hear it since I’d completely forgotten anyone else was here except for us, but there they are in all different-colored jumpsuits standing behind their consoles.
“Burn it down!” someone yells, which inspires another roar of cheering.
“But we’re getting everyone out first? You said there were others in there…like you?” Myra turns to Arwyn, raising her voice over the noise.
“When we go in, we’ll let them out. Arco and Skull will come for them.”
Adrenaline hits my blood for the second time in what can only be an hour. But this is what I wanted, right? I wanted to do something that matters. I nod at my sister.
“And we’re the wings? Whatever that means?” Ellis asks, turning to Calyx.
“Yes. You’ll act as relays, bringing the people Arco and Skull extract back here where they can be stabilized, then transported to our contacts at The State for protection,” she answers, then meets my eyes. “Your missions are critical.”
“It’s just the three of them with Tark going in to extract those people? They won’t have help? What if they’re caught?” Jazz asks in a rush, which puts me back a step.
“Once we’re all inside, we’ll clear a path and seal off most of the facility. They’ll have a clear trajectory,” Arwyn says, but Jazz’s eyes are still sharp, cutting from my sister to Lyden. She relaxes almost immediately, so I look over to Lyden and notice his brows working. He nods at her, and I feel a weight hit me in the stomach again. I hate their stupid telepathy.
This puts Liddick back in my head, his smug face…the fact that he’s nothing but a selfish, entitled coward.
“When are we leaving, and what are we flying?” I ask, pressing my teeth together to grind this thought to dust before I swallow it.
“We have one Class A Wraith and two Class B Sojourners,” Calyx answers. “You and Skull will take the Wraith through the barrier, and the Sojourners will attach below. When each Class B ship is full, they’ll head back here, and we’ll board the Wraith. With any luck, we’ll be back here in time to watch the light show,” Calyx says.
“What light show?” Myra asks.
“The port-cloud and Phase Three burning up in the sun.”
CHAPTER 5
Waking Up
Jazz
My forearm throbs where Arwyn injected the tracker, but it’s nothing compared to the pounding behind my eyes. I stop fighting it and just sit up in the dark, disoriented until I realize we’re at Calyx’s hab. I have no idea what time it is, or how long we’ve all been asleep, but it feels like it’s been at least most of the night—or, what’s supposed to be night around here. I carefully make my way to the wall-sized window, which is only about ten feet away. Everyone else chose to sleep on the far end of the hab since it feels like you could fall out of the sky right here, but it reminds me of the Vishan Lookout Pier. I watch the brighter stars twinkling as if in protest of the port-cloud haze and remember that night on the dune before we all left for Gaia. The stars were fighting to be seen that night too.
“Hard to believe these have always been there, just blocked out…” Arco says, moving into place behind me. Heat radiates from him, and I can feel his warm breath on my shoulder.
/>
“Did I wake you up?” I ask, and he shakes his head.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
We stand there in silence for a few more seconds just watching the stretch of infinity before us. I look down at the white haze underneath us knowing Earth is down there somewhere. It’s all so surreal, I almost think I’m not actually awake yet after all. “How could so much have changed in such a short time?” I finally manage.
“Nothing has changed, Jazz. We just finally see it all for what it is.” He says this from somewhere far away as he studies the stretch of black and white that folds into forever just beyond this glass. I suddenly feel like I’ve just walked through it…that anything stable under my feet has just fallen away.
“We’re going to fix it. We’re going to make it right.”
Arco doesn’t answer until I turn to look up at him, and then it’s clear to me we’re not just talking about The Seam and The State, or Gaia and Phase Three. His eyes dart to the ground for a second before his mouth twitches with a smile like a spark that just won’t catch. He nods.
“I thought so…” He takes a deep breath, and my chest starts to ache. “There’s a lot out of our control, a lot of unknowns…”
“That’s how it’s always been, though,” I say, looking for something, anything, to break this tension between us now—something to close this gap that just keeps getting wider, but instead, the stupidest thing I could possibly say comes out: “I never would have imagined any of this when I sat for my interview.”
“Crite, that seems like forever ago…” He finally laughs a little to my surprise. “I felt like such a mollusk when Jax and I accidentally busted your lip on the shuttle. I actually think it was my elbow that hit you.”
“You were so concerned about my stupid lip when everything else around us was turning upside down.” I smile back at him. He looks at me and brings his hand to my face, then strokes my bottom lip with the edge of his thumb.
“Seeing you hurt is the only thing I can’t handle.”